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Sex Fetish 101: 7 ways to get into the BDSM groove

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Welcome to the world of . This type of sex fetish was already popular around the world but it exploded into the stratosphere with the 50 Shades of Grey movie.

The legendary Christian Grey and his room, guys would are into BDSM have him to thank for convincing more women to try this type of sex. Here is a simple guide on how you can take baby steps in BDSM.

So, that’s an acronym, the full description is Bondage and discipline, Domination and submission, Sadism and masochism. It’s a lot of bundled into one. It’s mostly about people who want to be dominated, people who submit themselves because some of the sex acts can be dangerous, it is best to have a safe word.

A safe word is a word a partner yells when they’re getting uncomfortable or hurt while the sex act is going on.

BDSM is about submission and domination.
(Le Club BDSM)

BDSM has a bad impression in the public but like I said earlier thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, that veil is getting lifted off. People used to think it’s only those who are sick upstairs that are into , but it’s not true. A lot of women have some fantasies that are attached one way or the other to BDSM, and it is fine. Nothing bad about being kinky, and wanting kinky sex.

Here are ways you can kick off exploration of your kinky side

1. Name calling

Some people get intense sexual pleasure from being called all sorts of name during sex, it could be belittling names such as whore, slut and for men, it could be jerk, asshole or whichever. One disclaimer should be that you have this discussion with your partner about the aggressive language. Let him/her know if that’s what they’re into.

2. Light

You can start spanking by hand till you graduate to whips…
(Shutterstock)

We already have discussed spanking but it’s also a part of . For someone who isn’t into spanking or any kind of pain, it’s better you begin with light spanking done with the hand with the plan for it to go tougher as your partner settles in. Hold off on the whip for now, until she is thoroughly okay with it.

3. Hair pulling

If she’s into it, then definitely tap into it.
(Tumblr)

This isn’t for everyone, you should ask your partner if they’re into it first before doing it. It’s also advisable that you begin it gentle. Never met a Nigerian girl who is into this, if you’re into it, send me a message.

4. The scarf tying

Here is a slow and non-threatening way of experimenting the bondage part of BDSM. Scarf material is soft, and cannot do any damage. Before you bring out the handcuffs or rope, the soft material scarf can help de-pressurise the situation because it’s easy to break free from.

5. Official Greeting

You’re probably wondering what the hell official greeting has to do with. The submission part of BDSM has to do with relinquishing control to the other partner and in doing that, they’re officially addressed as sir or ma as they order the person around during the sex act.

6. Biting

There is an untapped pleasure stream from soft bites that you’ve not dug into.
(Pinterest)

One way to try out the pain part of the BDSM experience. Although, you start gentle, and also find out where your partner wants you to bite them. If they enjoy it, then you can increase the intensity of the bite.

7. Using clothespins

This is not for the weak. This clip can be used on thighs, stomach or nipples.
(Kinky World)

If your partner is into pain, then you may want to use this. It involves using the clip on certain parts of your partner’s body that they give them sexual satisfaction. Places it is usually used on include stomach, thighs, and nipples.

Bonus

Flogging doesn’t need further description, it is what it is, some people derive sexual pleasure from being flogged, it can go a bit further with beating. Remember that time when you read a story about a girl that gets wet when her boyfriend beats her, and then have amazing sex. That’s also a kind of BDSM, anyway, now you know.

Candle wax, dropping of candle wax are also a way of understanding what pain threshold your partner has, and to see if he/she is into it. You can try the candle wax in places like the stomach, inner thighs and breasts just like the clothespin.

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