1 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:20,037 We are gathered here today to immortalise in song 2 00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:23,624 the life and untimely death of a great legend. 3 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,043 -Rango. -So sit back, relax, 4 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:30,047 and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn and assorted confections 5 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:34,969 while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero 6 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:38,514 who has yet to enter his own story. 7 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,907 Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake. 8 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,410 Okay, everybody, let's take it from the top. 9 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:04,248 The stage is set, the night moist with apprehension. 10 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:08,336 Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life. 11 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:12,924 "lt is far better to nourish worms than to live without love." 12 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,926 She reaches for the poisoned chalice. 13 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:18,387 Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne 14 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,890 while her ageing father lies gravely ill. 15 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,559 "Yes, l am gravely ill." 16 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,896 "Hark, who goes there?" 17 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,524 'Tis l, the much-anticipated hero, 18 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,276 returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden! 19 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,445 Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, 20 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:37,406 or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance! 21 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,409 The sting of my... 22 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,288 Dr Marx? 23 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,041 Dr Marx, l'm not getting anything from you. 24 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:51,045 People, we've talked about this. Acting is reacting. 25 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,631 Victor, you were wooden! There, l said it. 26 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,591 Mr Timms? You were good. 27 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,761 Perhaps a little too good. 28 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:03,057 What's that, Victor? My character's undefined? That's absurd. 29 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:08,145 l know who l am. l'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero. 30 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:12,233 Every story needs a hero. l mean, who else is better qualified 31 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,987 to bask in the adulation of his numerous companions? 32 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,841 The stage is waiting. 33 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:40,011 The audience thirsts for adventure. 34 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,848 Who am I? 35 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,434 I couId be anyone. 36 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:51,355 l could be the sea cap'n returning from a mighty voyage 37 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,649 to reclaim his mechanical arm! 38 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:59,280 Or l could be the rogue anthropologist, battling pythons down in the Congo! 39 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,115 Down, Chongo, down! 40 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,118 And if you desire romance, 41 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:08,706 l will become the greatest lover the world has ever known! 42 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:19,800 l couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you. 43 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:23,638 You know, the womens find me uncomfortably good looking. 44 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,182 But you seem remarkably at ease. 45 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,476 Stop it. No, really. 46 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,978 Well, if you must. What are you doing? 47 00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:33,064 That tickles. Are those real? 48 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,317 That's it! Conflict. 49 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,986 Victor, you were right. l have been undefined. 50 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:44,200 People, l've had an epiphany. The hero cannot exist in a vacuum! 51 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:47,411 What our story needs is an ironic, unexpected event 52 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,247 that will propel the hero into conflict! 53 00:05:46,805 --> 00:06:09,410 Mr Timms? 54 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,099 That's right! You! 55 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,478 Don't be shy. Come on. 56 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,688 lt's okay. 57 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,774 That's it, a little closer. 58 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,443 Good. 59 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,737 l won't bite you. 60 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,866 l need a little help here. 61 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:50,743 Are you okay? 62 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,871 l must get to the other side. 63 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,749 The other side? You mean, just now, that was you crossing the road? 64 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,125 That's why the... 65 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:00,544 Why'd you do that? 66 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,756 This is my quest. He waits for me. 67 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,216 What? Who? 68 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,886 The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one. 69 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:13,349 They say he rides an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him. 70 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,226 What are you talking about? 71 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,687 Enlightenment. We are nothing without it. 72 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:22,399 Nothing? Your delusional quest just ruined my life! 73 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,944 l had an incredibly complex social network going! 74 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,905 Highly sophisticated friends! l was very popular! 75 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,115 Friends? l don't see no friends. 76 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,703 You are a very lonely lizard. 77 00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:38,916 Look, l need water, hydration. My teeth are chapped. 78 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,168 l need lotion. l'm down to one layer of skin already. 79 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,003 Pretty soon, l'm going to start seeing my insides. 80 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,714 Not unlike what you've got going there. 81 00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,633 Listen, l can't survive in the desert, okay? 82 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,635 l... l don't belong here. 83 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,013 That may be true, but here you are. 84 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:58,561 Now help me up and l will help you find what you seek. 85 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,146 -You will? -And perhaps more. 86 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,274 Quickly. l must get back to my quest. 87 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:07,027 -You mean you've done this before? -Yes. Many times. 88 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,614 Come, come. That's it, pull my finger. 89 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,700 The Spirit is waiting for me. 90 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,535 Okay, okay. 91 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,251 Okay. That's not going to work. 92 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,295 l must get to the other side. 93 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:27,881 Why don't you just wait until there are no cars coming? 94 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,633 lt's not so easy as it looks. 95 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,759 What? 96 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,261 ls a metaphor. 97 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,001 There's another one! 98 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,920 l knew it. 99 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,267 You need a little help, amigo? 100 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:23,437 l think the metaphor broke my spleen. 101 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,106 The path to knowledge is fraught with consequence. 102 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:29,026 l'm just looking for the path to water. 103 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:33,822 lf you want to find water, you must first find Dirt. 104 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,325 Dirt. 105 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,536 Destiny, she is kind to you. 106 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:42,539 Tomorrow is Wednesday. The water comes. 107 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:47,169 At noon, the townspeople gather for a mysterious ritual. 108 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:52,132 A town? You mean, with real people and everything? Where? 109 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:55,052 A day's journey. Follow your shadow. 110 00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,307 You want me to just walk out into the desert? 111 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,475 That's the way. 112 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,977 Okay. So you're saying 113 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:07,648 there's a town, a real town, not a metaphor town. 114 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,233 Go on. lt's okay. 115 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:10,901 Okay. 116 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,986 Well, then, l'm going. 117 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,407 l am leaving the road now! 118 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,993 l'm walking into the desert! 119 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,745 Alone! 120 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,415 We all have ourjourneys to make! 121 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,751 l will see you on the other side. 122 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:45,018 Welcome, amigo 123 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:48,105 To the Iand without end 124 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,358 The desert and death 125 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:55,362 Are the cIosest of friends 126 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:58,365 We sing of his courage 127 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,702 In magnificent song 128 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,621 But pay cIose attention 129 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,624 He won't be here Iong 130 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:15,048 As the birds pIuck his eyes The sun bIeaches his bones 131 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:20,137 See his entraiIs get scattered Watch him Iose his cojones 132 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:29,062 Here in the Mojave Desert, 133 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:34,401 animals have had millions of years to adapt to the harsh environment. 134 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,738 But the lizard? He is going to die. 135 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:41,492 "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers..." 136 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,660 -Don't move. -What? 137 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,585 -Don't move! -Not moving. 138 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:52,753 Not moving. 139 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,005 Try to blend in. 140 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,673 Blend in? What do you mean? 141 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,678 Blend in. 142 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,514 What are you saying? 143 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,934 -Too late. -No, no. lt's not too late! 144 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,269 l'm blending! l'm a blender! 145 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,480 Hey, calm down! What are you doing? 146 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,901 Stop moving! 147 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,237 Try not to look conspicuous. 148 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,289 -What are you doing? -l'm blending. 149 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,208 -Go blend somewhere else. -Don't distract me. 150 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,126 -No room at the inn. -lt's an art, not a science. 151 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,170 -Find your own hiding place. -No, this is good. 152 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,965 Here she comes! You better run, Mojito! 153 00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:41,844 -What? l thought you said, "Don't move." -That was before. Now, you run. 154 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,226 Oh, hey. Proboscis. 155 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:32,936 Testy. 156 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:49,786 Please, no, please. l have vertigo! My glands are swelling! 157 00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,456 Please, no. 158 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,426 You! l'll kill you! You stupid lizard! 159 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,428 Get out of there. l'm going to strangle your huevos! 160 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,305 Big bird! Big bird! 161 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,892 No, wait! Come back! l was just kidding! 162 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,894 -Come on, we're friends, right? -l don't know you! 163 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,771 -Lizards, frogs... -Find your own hiding place! 164 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,522 -We're practically related! -No room at the inn! 165 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,024 -Come on, move over! -You're not my friend! 166 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,234 l'll let you kiss my sister! 167 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,870 You son of a... 168 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,845 Where are your friends now, amigo? 169 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,168 Get your slimy-webbed phalanges off my boots! 170 00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,295 Sorry. 171 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,631 l got a bead on you, stranger. So you get up real slow 172 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,175 lessen you want to spend the better part 173 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,135 of the afternoon putting your face back together! 174 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,929 -No, ma'am, l don't. -Who are you? 175 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,348 -Who am l? -l'm asking the questions here! 176 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,893 Our town is drying up. We're in the middle of a drought. 177 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,728 Now someone's dumping water in the desert! 178 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,938 lt's a puzzle of undeterminable size and dimension, 179 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,858 but l intend to find out what role you playing in all this. 180 00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:27,569 -Role? -What are you involved in? 181 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,197 Well, l'm glad you asked. 182 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:33,408 l've got two one-acts, a mystery and a musical l've been gestating. 183 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,620 l got the words, l'm just working on the melody right now. lt's like a... 184 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,040 l think it's gonna be a western. 185 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:42,751 A monkey got a cracker His mother was a sIapper 186 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,463 She'II be coming 'round the mountain in the rain 187 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,634 You ain't from around here, are you? 188 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,970 l'm still working on it. 189 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,890 So, what's your name? 190 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,518 -Beans. -That's a funny kind of name. 191 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,562 What can l say? My daddy plumb loved baked beans. 192 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,397 Well, you're lucky he didn't plumb love asparagus. 193 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,690 What are you saying? 194 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,859 l mean, l enjoy a hearty puttanesca myself, 195 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,237 but l'm not sure that a child would appreciate the moniker. 196 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:14,950 My daddy was a great man, even if he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes. 197 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,577 -Spicy. -You're eating his ashes! 198 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,122 You carry his remains? 199 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,500 No, his ashes. He loved to smoke. They never found the body. 200 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,585 Well, l'm sure he had his reasons. 201 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,671 -What are you implying? -Nothing. 202 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,756 My daddy was never near that mine shaft. 203 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,424 He'd been sober for over a month! 204 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,469 And for you to insinuate that he would abandon his parental responsibilities 205 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:38,515 at a delicate time in my personal development is an affront to my sense... 206 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,562 Miss Beans? 207 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,815 Miss Beans? Hello? 208 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,860 Hello? 209 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,003 And until the people ofAndromeda Five 210 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,256 return him safe and sound, l will not sell my ranch! 211 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,968 -What... What are you doing? -What are you doing? 212 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,928 -What am l doing? -You're cuddling me. 213 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,430 -You were frozen. -l was not. 214 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,432 Yes, you were. You stopped talking. 215 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,810 lt's a defence mechanism. Actually, lots of lizards have it. 216 00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,103 You're making that up. 217 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,148 So, you gonna die out here, or you want a ride into town? 218 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:32,194 No, no, no. Yeah. No. Yes, please. Thank you. Sorry. 219 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:36,031 Today's Wednesday. Wednesday's when we all get to it. 220 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,241 So who are you, really? 221 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,076 Well, l'm a man of many epithets. 222 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,537 There's my stage name, my pen name, my avatar. 223 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,165 l had a pseudonym once, but l had it legally changed. 224 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:49,252 And so the stranger, seeking companionship, 225 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:53,673 finds the woman, much like the sirens of ancient times 226 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:58,053 luring him to his certain demise. 227 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,430 ...nom de plume, l have a CB handle. 228 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,224 l'm actually one of the few men with a maiden name. 229 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,976 Whoa! Well, here we are. 230 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:13,485 Right. 231 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,154 Well, l sure do appreciate this, Miss Beans, 232 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,990 -and if there's ever anything that l... -Get on up! 233 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,117 Okay, then! 234 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,620 See you, Beans. 235 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,429 You heading out, Jim? 236 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,641 Well, we gave it our best shot. We had to sell out. 237 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:47,602 Can't grow no crops without no water. 238 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,689 Bye, now! 239 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,945 What is it? 240 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,283 What was that for? 241 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,076 You're funny looking. 242 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,829 Oh, yeah? Well, you're funny looking, too. 243 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,290 -That's a funny-looking shirt. -That's a funny-looking dress. 244 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,792 -You got funny-looking eyes! -You got a funny-looking face! 245 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,839 You're a stranger. Strangers don't last long here. 246 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,341 Here's your beans, Beans. 247 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,468 l'm gonna need some more feed, too, Willie. 248 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,597 Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts already. l can't give you more credit. 249 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,975 But l'll have what l owe you at noon. 250 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:32,314 You don't understand. lt's Mr Merrimack down at the bank. He cut off all credit. 251 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,607 Hey, Beans! Beans! 252 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,818 You know that there fella? 253 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,445 Hey, Beans! Miss Beans! 254 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,488 Nope. 255 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,781 Hey, Beans! 256 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,033 Hey. 257 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,787 Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in. 258 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,797 l'd like a glass of water. 259 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,218 He wants a glass of water! 260 00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:27,595 Make it a double! 261 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,055 Give him the spittoon! 262 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:37,689 Cactus juice. That's what we got. 263 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,256 Hey, there, fruit cup. 264 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:07,385 You're a long ways from home, ain't ya? 265 00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:10,013 Who exactly are you? 266 00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,685 Who am I? 267 00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:18,521 I couId be anyone. 268 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:26,571 What's the matter? You missing your mommy's mangos? 269 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:29,866 As a matter of fact, l am. 270 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,869 But not as much as your daddy's cooking! 271 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,291 Exactly where did you say you were from? 272 00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:41,711 Me? l'm from the West. 273 00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:45,048 Out there, beyond the horizon. Past the sunset. 274 00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,717 The Far West. 275 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,387 Yeah, that's right, hombres. 276 00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:54,224 The place l come from, we kill a man before breakfast 277 00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:56,476 just to work up an appetite. 278 00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:59,270 Then we salt him, and we pepper him. 279 00:23:59,396 --> 00:24:03,525 Then we braise him in clarified butter. And then we eat him. 280 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,652 -You eat him? -That's what l said! 281 00:24:05,736 --> 00:24:09,864 Hell, l seen things make a grown man lose control of his glandular functions! 282 00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:13,159 You spend three days in a horse carcass, living off your own juices. 283 00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:16,120 lt'll change a man. Oh, yeah. 284 00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:23,086 Had a few extra aces in this deck, gents. Just the way l like it. 285 00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:28,091 So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend, l am not from around these parts. 286 00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:30,510 You might say l'm from everywhere there's trouble brewing 287 00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:32,887 and hell waiting to be raised. 288 00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,432 You might say l'm what hell's already raised up. 289 00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,269 Name's 290 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:44,274 Rango. 291 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:48,111 Are you the fella that killed them Jenkins brothers? 292 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,573 Killed them with one bullet. 293 00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,449 Don't get no deader. 294 00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:55,618 All seven of them? 295 00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:58,121 That's right. 296 00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:00,456 All seven of them. 297 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,669 Exactly how you do that, Mr Rango? 298 00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,048 You know, l'm glad you asked me that. 299 00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:13,136 And l will be happy to tell you how. But you're all gonna have to listen up! 300 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,639 Because this is where it gets 301 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,017 complicated. 302 00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:24,022 That'll close out your account, Mrs Oats, two gulps and a swig. 303 00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:27,400 Hands off, Mordecai! That's what's left of your college education! 304 00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:32,071 l don't rightly have no other choice, Beans. 305 00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:36,326 Times being so hard, we just can't give no more credit. 306 00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:39,662 But this here is a bank. This is where you keep the water. 307 00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:47,170 Beans, you've been like a niece to me ever since your daddy 308 00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:52,216 did not fall drunk down a mine shaft. 309 00:25:52,343 --> 00:25:56,846 l've tried to protect you and others from certain realities. 310 00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:58,931 But that... Well... 311 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,225 -Mr Merrimack? -Realities are bearing down. 312 00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:02,852 Mr Merrimack! 313 00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:04,896 Are you all right? 314 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:09,025 Beans, l need to show you something. 315 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:20,203 -That's all that's left? -And this here is the reserve! 316 00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:21,954 l don't know if you've noticed, 317 00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:25,541 but folks just ain't making deposits on a Wednesday no more! 318 00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:29,087 Mr Merrimack, if l don't get some water, l'm gonna lose my ranch 319 00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,547 and you're telling me that's all that's left in the whole town? 320 00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:34,801 Now that just don't make no sense. Now, listen. 321 00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:38,888 Someone is dumping water in the desert. 322 00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:42,308 l seen it with my own eyes. 323 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:46,020 Water in the desert? 324 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:49,148 Was this during one of your special times? 325 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,483 No. 326 00:26:50,567 --> 00:26:54,654 Well, we can all dream, but this is the reality. 327 00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:58,366 Why do you think so many people are selling out? They just can't make it. 328 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,910 Well, what am l supposed to do? 329 00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:04,038 Well, l suppose we could talk to the Mayor. 330 00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:07,291 l hear he's been helping people out in this time of crisis. 331 00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:08,501 The Mayor? 332 00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:11,295 He may be our only hope. 333 00:27:11,422 --> 00:27:14,340 Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back towards number three, 334 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:15,800 and that's when the roof caved in, 335 00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:18,010 igniting the thermos of pure grain alcohol 336 00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:21,931 instantly vapourising his bodily form, leaving nothing but a charcoal statue 337 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:24,142 and a high-pitched squeal. 338 00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:33,860 Hold on, there. That's only six. What happened to number seven? 339 00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,446 Number seven? 340 00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:38,865 Hell, he died of infection. 341 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,162 -Seven men! -One bullet! 342 00:27:44,288 --> 00:27:46,289 Drinks all around! 343 00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:51,169 Dance for me, Sod Buster! 344 00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:54,005 -Yes, dance like a chicken! -That's right! Dance! 345 00:27:55,466 --> 00:27:57,633 You got corn in your ears, mate? 346 00:27:57,718 --> 00:28:00,678 You don't pay the mortgage, you don't own the land! 347 00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:03,848 -That's basic real estate law, my friend. -Quid pro quo! 348 00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:07,018 lf l see your face in this town again, 349 00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:11,522 l'm gonna slice it off and use it to wipe my unmentionables. 350 00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:13,399 Mind the beak. 351 00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:17,153 And don't come back! 352 00:28:18,989 --> 00:28:21,699 What are you all gawping at? 353 00:28:25,245 --> 00:28:28,831 Hey, Bad Bill, there's something l got to tell you! 354 00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:34,712 What is this? 355 00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:38,841 You know who that is, Bill? That there's Rango! 356 00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:42,762 Yeah, he ain't afraid of you! He ain't afraid of none of you. 357 00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:44,305 Killed them Jenkins brothers. 358 00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:47,350 -Done it with one bullet, Bill. -All seven of them! 359 00:28:48,018 --> 00:28:49,894 ls that right? 360 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,892 Let me get that before you... 361 00:29:34,314 --> 00:29:36,065 No. Oh, l know. Here. 362 00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:42,446 Just take care of that for you. 363 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,449 There. All better. 364 00:30:09,892 --> 00:30:12,435 T.O. T.O. Just a second. 365 00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:16,147 All right, now listen! 366 00:30:16,273 --> 00:30:19,483 l'm going to give you fellas one last chance to reconsider! 367 00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:27,241 And if you don't want to reconsider 368 00:30:27,326 --> 00:30:30,453 l might consider reconsidering myself. 369 00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:45,176 Now that's what l'm talking about. Yeah. 370 00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:46,886 All right, now listen up! 371 00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:50,014 Things are going to be different around here now that Rango's in town. 372 00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:53,184 Got some new rules! l want my shoes shined every morning, 373 00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:55,186 my coffee hot, Danish on the side. 374 00:30:55,312 --> 00:30:57,521 Whatever you do, don't look me in the eye. 375 00:30:57,648 --> 00:31:00,107 Stay out of my peripheral vision! 376 00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:02,151 -lt's Rango. -What's he up to? 377 00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:05,404 He ain't afraid of nobody. He's telling that bird what's for! 378 00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:07,323 And when you see me coming, stand aside. 379 00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,368 l take large steps and l don't want none of you hayseeds 380 00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:13,162 getting your bodily fluids on my boots! 381 00:31:14,623 --> 00:31:17,833 Of course, there is no need for violence, 382 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,878 as long as we stick together, work as a team. 383 00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:24,382 So l want you all to come outside now and line up single file 384 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:25,967 while l take a brief intermission! 385 00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:30,638 What's he doing now? 386 00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,348 l think it's a number two. 387 00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:55,871 Never mind. 388 00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,477 Take a look-see over here! 389 00:32:18,562 --> 00:32:19,812 Well, look at him now! 390 00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:21,772 He's chasing after that hawk! 391 00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:52,887 Give him hell, Rango! 392 00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:20,099 -Did you see that? -He killed that thing! 393 00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:21,851 What do you think, Doc? 394 00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:25,312 This hawk is dead! 395 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:28,357 Shoot, l say we cook that right up. 396 00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:30,150 He did it with one bullet! 397 00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:31,777 Just like he said! 398 00:34:31,862 --> 00:34:33,612 lt's about time we had a hero around here. 399 00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:35,990 One who ain't in a pine box. 400 00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:39,493 l think it's time he met the Mayor. 401 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:42,538 You hear that, Rango? You're going to meet the Mayor! 402 00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:44,999 Let's hear it for Rango! 403 00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:50,754 And so the stranger basks 404 00:34:50,881 --> 00:34:54,216 in the adulation of his new friends, 405 00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:59,513 sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception. 406 00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:01,265 When is he going to die? 407 00:35:01,391 --> 00:35:03,851 Soon, compadre. Soon. 408 00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:22,411 My land is not for sale! 409 00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,081 l came here to save my land, not sell it! 410 00:35:26,207 --> 00:35:29,877 l'm sure there's something reasonable we can work out if you just talk to him! 411 00:35:31,254 --> 00:35:33,047 Beans! Where are you going? Beans? 412 00:35:33,590 --> 00:35:35,424 The Mayor will see you now. 413 00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:44,141 Water, Mr Rango, water. 414 00:35:44,601 --> 00:35:47,937 Without it, there's nothing but dust and decay. 415 00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:52,566 But with water there's life. 416 00:35:54,444 --> 00:35:59,448 Look at them, so desperate to live, they'll follow it anywhere. 417 00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:02,201 That's the immutable law of the desert. 418 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:08,332 Control the water and you control everything. 419 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:12,920 But l don't have to tell you that being a true man of the West, as you are. 420 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:17,424 Oh, yeah. The West is the best. 421 00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:19,760 This is from my private stock. 422 00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:22,972 Vintage rainwater from the Great Deluge. 423 00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:27,559 Not Noah's deluge. Good heavens, l'm not that old. 424 00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:32,690 l guess power has its privileges. 425 00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:34,775 You make a good point, son. 426 00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:38,862 But with privilege comes responsibility. 427 00:36:40,490 --> 00:36:43,450 Hell, l was mayor here before there was a Dirt! 428 00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,870 And l may be just a sentimental old turtle 429 00:36:46,997 --> 00:36:52,001 but l think there's a future for this town. And l hope you'll be part of it. 430 00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:56,630 -To Dirt! -To Dirt. 431 00:36:59,676 --> 00:37:03,178 You see them, Mr Rango? All my friends and neighbours? 432 00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:07,516 lt's a hard life here. Very hard. 433 00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:12,021 Do you know how they make it through each and every day? 434 00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:13,188 They believe. 435 00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:16,692 They believe it's going to be better. 436 00:37:16,818 --> 00:37:20,154 They believe that the water will come. 437 00:37:20,238 --> 00:37:22,740 They believe against all odds and all evidence 438 00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:25,034 that tomorrow will be better than today. 439 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:29,663 People have to believe in something. 440 00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:33,584 Right now, they believe in you. 441 00:37:35,837 --> 00:37:40,049 Pick it up, Mr Rango. Your destiny awaits. 442 00:37:43,553 --> 00:37:47,014 People have to believe in something. 443 00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:55,647 lt's almost noon. ls everything ready? 444 00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:58,567 Yeah. But he might be a problem. 445 00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:02,071 He's not a problem, William. He's a solution. 446 00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:06,742 lt just don't make no sense. 447 00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:08,410 This whole town is drying up, 448 00:38:08,495 --> 00:38:11,079 and the Mayor is the only one who don't seem to be affected. 449 00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,207 Doesn't that make you just a wee bit suspicious? 450 00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:16,502 And what about that water l saw out in the desert? 451 00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:20,923 All right! No need to incite anxiety. l'll inquire about the Mayor. 452 00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:24,760 But if you really feel there's some conspiracy occurring, 453 00:38:24,844 --> 00:38:27,888 l suggest you take it up with the new sheriff. 454 00:38:29,182 --> 00:38:32,226 This is going to be good. Hey! Watch that needle there. 455 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,269 Not too tight. l want to leave room for some pucker! 456 00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:35,395 That's good. 457 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,022 Oh, easy there, tiger. 458 00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,690 -A little up and back? -l don't think so. 459 00:38:38,775 --> 00:38:39,817 Have you got French cuffs with that? 460 00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:41,568 Excuse me, Sheriff Rango. l want to talk to you. 461 00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,153 Hey, Beans, what do you think of the new duds? 462 00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:45,239 l got a 1 0-gallon hat marked down from 1 5. 463 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,907 -That's nice. -Have you met Angelique? 464 00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:48,826 -Hello, Beans. -Hello, Angelique. 465 00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:49,952 -Tart. -Floozy. 466 00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:52,246 -Trollop. -Excuse me, Mr Rango. 467 00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,956 l will blow that ugly right off your face! 468 00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:56,250 l was just thinking that... 469 00:38:57,001 --> 00:38:58,710 You want the old John Hancock, do you? 470 00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:00,921 -Well, here. Hold this. -Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call. 471 00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:02,714 There's a bullet in there. 472 00:39:02,799 --> 00:39:04,341 l know about the shindig this afternoon. 473 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:06,927 -l ordered myself some right fancy duds. -Sheriff, l'd like to file a... 474 00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:08,762 -Mr Rango! -Oh, you, too? No problem. 475 00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:10,472 -Here, let me just... -l need you to investigate... 476 00:39:10,557 --> 00:39:13,433 You know, Beans, l bet you clean up real nice, you put a little effort into it. 477 00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:14,726 -What? -Now, remember, son, 478 00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:17,354 stay in school, eat your veggies, burn everything but Shakespeare. 479 00:39:17,438 --> 00:39:19,064 -Who's Shakespeare? -Sheriff Rango, 480 00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:21,275 if that is your real name. 481 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:23,569 l am trying to save my daddy's ranch, 482 00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:25,737 which is on the verge of an agricultural meltdown 483 00:39:25,822 --> 00:39:28,740 while you're playing patty-cake with this here trollop! 484 00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:34,288 Sad, really. Such a drab little thing. 485 00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:36,123 Why does she do that? 486 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:39,459 -lt's a survival reflex. -Her switch is just broken. 487 00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:41,003 Well, that's an inconvenience. 488 00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,714 lt is not a rash! lt is a birthmark! 489 00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:46,675 l did it again, didn't l? 490 00:39:46,759 --> 00:39:48,010 Did what? 491 00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:49,970 Let me ask you something. 492 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:54,141 Did anybody here mention what happened to our last sheriff? 493 00:40:33,473 --> 00:40:37,851 Pardon, but may l ask you... Excuse me, may l ask you... 494 00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:41,772 The last sheriff... Pardon me. Where is everybody going? 495 00:40:42,315 --> 00:40:45,275 What exactly happened to the... 496 00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,198 AII day 497 00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:55,285 I've faced the barren waste 498 00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:59,665 Without the taste of water 499 00:41:03,544 --> 00:41:07,047 CooI water 500 00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:13,303 OId Dan and I 501 00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:15,389 With throats burned dry 502 00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:20,143 And souIs that cry 503 00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:22,813 For water 504 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:27,192 CooI 505 00:41:29,112 --> 00:41:30,570 l'm so sorry. l'm so sorry. 506 00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:33,115 CIear water 507 00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:42,874 This is a heck of a hoedown you got going. 508 00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,751 Still working out those steps. 509 00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:48,714 So, is this considered normal civic behaviour? 510 00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:51,299 Every Wednesday, just like clockwork. 511 00:41:51,384 --> 00:41:53,135 You kill bird. 512 00:41:53,219 --> 00:41:56,096 Yeah. Matter of fact, l did. 513 00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:58,724 Bird dead. Snake come. 514 00:41:58,975 --> 00:41:59,975 Snake? 515 00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:01,852 He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr Rango. 516 00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:04,187 He never comes to town 'cause he's scared of that hawk. 517 00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:05,564 But he might come now. 518 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:07,232 Can l have your boots when you're dead? 519 00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:08,400 No! 520 00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:10,861 And l ain't got no problem with this Rattlesnake Jake. 521 00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:12,612 That's just what Amos said. 522 00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:14,823 Amos? 523 00:42:18,161 --> 00:42:20,495 You got any gold fillings? 524 00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:41,349 My feIIow Dirtonians. 525 00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:46,438 I weIcome you to our great day of deIiverance. HaIIeIujah. 526 00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:48,106 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 527 00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:51,735 AcoIytes, prepare the hoIy spigot! 528 00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:05,665 We have a newcomer amongst us today, my friends. 529 00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:08,502 A man I think needs IittIe introduction to you 530 00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:12,756 so boId has been his entry into our fair society. 531 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,093 Mr Rango, wouId you step forward? 532 00:43:21,933 --> 00:43:26,269 The time has come, my friends. The time that was foretoId! 533 00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:28,021 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 534 00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:29,523 The sacred time! 535 00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:31,399 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 536 00:43:31,484 --> 00:43:33,860 The time of destiny! 537 00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,529 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 538 00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,115 The time of deIiverance! 539 00:43:38,199 --> 00:43:39,241 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 540 00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:43,453 It is the time of hydration! 541 00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:01,388 -lt's his fault! -lt's the newcomer! 542 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,181 -Burn him! -He's a witch! 543 00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:04,391 l get his boots! 544 00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:08,728 My friends, my friends! Temper your frustrations. 545 00:44:08,813 --> 00:44:13,900 Times wiII be tough from now on. Sacrifices wiII have to be made. 546 00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:17,654 But if I can heIp in any way, pIease know that my door is aIways... 547 00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,364 Hold it, hold it! 548 00:44:19,448 --> 00:44:22,242 Now, this whole thing stinks three ways to Sunday. 549 00:44:22,326 --> 00:44:24,828 First the bank's run dry and now this here spigot? 550 00:44:24,912 --> 00:44:25,954 The bank's run dry? 551 00:44:26,038 --> 00:44:28,748 -What's she talking about? -She said there's no water in the bank! 552 00:44:34,005 --> 00:44:37,174 This is all we have! We can't give it all out! 553 00:44:37,258 --> 00:44:39,467 That was my rehydration account! 554 00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:44,890 None of that civil disobedience in my town, thank you very much. 555 00:44:47,476 --> 00:44:50,770 Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff. Things were getting out of hand. 556 00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:52,731 Come right in. 557 00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:56,860 Let me have a gander at the source of the societal discontentment here. 558 00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:01,072 Mercy. 559 00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:03,867 All right, listen up! l've been thinking 560 00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:06,745 and l believe l've figured something out. 561 00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:09,289 You folks have a water problem! 562 00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:13,919 Nowjust pay attention, everybody. l'm trying to make a point here. 563 00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:16,796 Let's say this fella here were to take a drink of water. 564 00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:19,674 Just one little drink. No harm, no foul, right? 565 00:45:22,845 --> 00:45:24,012 And you! 566 00:45:24,347 --> 00:45:27,098 You're just as dried up and parched as a jackrabbit in July. 567 00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:30,268 So you belly on up and take you a double shot! 568 00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:33,355 Stay with me. 569 00:45:34,232 --> 00:45:38,109 What do you think happens then? Why we'd all be drinking! 570 00:45:38,819 --> 00:45:41,738 And before you know it, there wouldn't be any more water. 571 00:45:41,822 --> 00:45:43,823 And then where would we be? 572 00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:46,910 We'd be thirsty. 573 00:45:47,453 --> 00:45:49,162 Real thirsty. 574 00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:52,082 We'd turn on each other like a bunch of animals! 575 00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:59,589 Now look here. We have got six days of water. 576 00:46:04,595 --> 00:46:07,305 We have got five days... 577 00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:12,435 As long as we've got water, we've got ourselves a town. 578 00:46:13,646 --> 00:46:15,563 Sheriff Rango is right. 579 00:46:15,648 --> 00:46:19,276 As long as we have this water, we have some hope. 580 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,152 And you can all take it from me. 581 00:46:21,237 --> 00:46:24,698 My 1 00% full-time employment from this moment on 582 00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:28,743 will be to protect our precious natural resource. 583 00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:32,664 Ain't no one gonna tango with the Rango. 584 00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:46,803 Evening, ladies. 585 00:46:46,887 --> 00:46:48,680 Evening, Sheriff. 586 00:46:48,764 --> 00:46:50,890 And don't you come back! 587 00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:54,561 Hold on there, Gordy. You get back in there and you assert yourself, 588 00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:57,897 and l think you'll find the people of this here town to be surprisingly hospitable. 589 00:46:57,982 --> 00:46:59,274 Thank you, Sheriff. 590 00:46:59,358 --> 00:47:01,234 What? Not you again! 591 00:47:02,695 --> 00:47:04,487 l stand corrected. 592 00:47:10,578 --> 00:47:13,121 -This ain't the bank. -l told you, Jedidiah! 593 00:47:13,205 --> 00:47:14,497 Hold it right there! 594 00:47:14,582 --> 00:47:15,874 -Who's that? -lt's the Sheriff! 595 00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:17,625 Get them hands up where l can see them! 596 00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:20,420 Just as l suspected. 597 00:47:20,504 --> 00:47:23,256 Prospecting without the authorised equipment. Don't move a muscle. 598 00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,550 Prospecting? 599 00:47:29,638 --> 00:47:32,390 Now, you got your shovel, pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah, 600 00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:35,727 assorted snacks, some puzzle books and you're gonna need a permit. 601 00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:37,520 -Loofah. -Ezekiel, Jedidiah! 602 00:47:37,605 --> 00:47:39,856 What the Sam Hill's going on up there? 603 00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:43,526 l've had polyps removed smarter than the two of you! 604 00:47:43,986 --> 00:47:46,196 Hell's fire, this ain't the bank! 605 00:47:46,322 --> 00:47:49,908 Pappy, the Sheriff is standing right here, helping us out. 606 00:47:49,992 --> 00:47:52,744 Gonna give us a permit for prospecting. 607 00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:55,413 That's right, sir. Just doing my duty. 608 00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:58,249 The lonely constable on his rounds, 609 00:47:58,334 --> 00:48:00,668 keeping an eagle eye out for mayhem and malfeasance. 610 00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:03,213 Does he look like he sounds? 611 00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:08,468 Well, Sheriff, if we was to hit the mother lode, 612 00:48:08,552 --> 00:48:10,678 being prospectors and such, 613 00:48:10,763 --> 00:48:13,932 where would we deposit said annuity? 614 00:48:14,016 --> 00:48:15,975 Here in the town of Dirt, we happen to have 615 00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,895 the finest financial institution this side of the Missouri. 616 00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:23,233 Protected morning, noon and night by yours truly. 617 00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:26,986 Much obliged. 618 00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:30,073 The bank's been robbed! The bank's been robbed! 619 00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:32,617 Good Lord, the bank's been robbed! 620 00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:34,119 What's going on? 621 00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,413 -lt's gone! The water's all gone! -What'd he say? 622 00:48:36,497 --> 00:48:37,789 He said the bank's been robbed! 623 00:48:38,707 --> 00:48:41,543 Dr Marx! l'm on fire! Embrace me! 624 00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:46,798 The bank's been robbed, the town is dry "We'II die of thirst," the peopIe cry 625 00:48:46,882 --> 00:48:51,428 He promised to protect the vauIt The water's gone, it's aII his fauIt 626 00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:54,055 All right, folks, stand back, clear the area. 627 00:48:54,140 --> 00:48:55,473 This is a crime scene now. 628 00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:58,685 Secure the perimeter, dust for prints, check for fibres, scan for DNA. 629 00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:01,479 l want a urine sample from everyone. And get me a latte. 630 00:49:01,564 --> 00:49:02,897 And don't mix up the two. 631 00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:04,149 What's this? 632 00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:05,900 "Prospecting Permit." 633 00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:07,777 l'll take that. Material evidence. 634 00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:09,404 What are we gonna do now, Sheriff? 635 00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:12,198 -We need that water. -We're all going to die! 636 00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:15,910 My friends, we all know what we have to do now. 637 00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:19,789 That's right. We all know what we have to do now. 638 00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:21,916 -And that would be? -Form a posse. 639 00:49:22,001 --> 00:49:23,877 Form a possum! 640 00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,630 A posse. 641 00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:32,135 Now, we're gonna be doing this in an orderly fashion. 642 00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:37,640 First off, does anybody here know how to use a firearm of any kind? 643 00:49:40,102 --> 00:49:41,728 All right, then. 644 00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,354 What do we do now, Sheriff? 645 00:49:43,439 --> 00:49:46,149 Now we ride! 646 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:01,539 Where are we going? 647 00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:02,874 What? 648 00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,792 Where are we going? 649 00:50:12,134 --> 00:50:15,970 Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge of all tracking and finding of villains, 650 00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:18,890 utilising your well-developed lnjun-uity, no offence taken. 651 00:50:18,974 --> 00:50:20,225 So which way do you think they went? 652 00:50:20,309 --> 00:50:22,894 You want to sniff the air or commune with a buffalo or something? 653 00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:28,483 Oh, you're good. 654 00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,779 l'm depending on you, Spoons. 655 00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:35,532 You got a little tobaccy in the beard there. 656 00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:38,576 Always good to have a medical man along, Doc. 657 00:50:38,661 --> 00:50:41,412 Reptiles got to stick together, right, my brother? 658 00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:42,789 l'm an amphibian. 659 00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:44,415 Ain't no shame in that. 660 00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:50,171 You sure you're fit for duty there, soldier? 661 00:50:52,049 --> 00:50:53,883 Well, you got a little something in your eye there. 662 00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:58,429 Oh, that? That there's conjunctivitis, sir. lt's hereditary. 663 00:50:59,431 --> 00:51:02,350 Well, l'm glad to hear it's not contagious. 664 00:51:03,018 --> 00:51:06,688 Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute! A posse ain't no place for a... 665 00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:08,773 Never mind. 666 00:51:08,857 --> 00:51:10,817 Hold on there, little sister. 667 00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:13,611 Someone's gonna have to look after the town while l'm gone. 668 00:51:15,447 --> 00:51:16,864 Can l gut-shoot someone? 669 00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,243 Let's put a pin in that. 670 00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:23,705 Sheriff, you're going to bring that water back, aren't you? 671 00:51:24,582 --> 00:51:26,082 Count on it, little sister. 672 00:51:29,169 --> 00:51:32,380 -Which way do we go, Sheriff? -There's tunnels everywhere. 673 00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:34,048 Whole town's perforated with them. 674 00:51:34,133 --> 00:51:37,677 She got more holes in her than a painted lady on a porcupine. 675 00:51:37,803 --> 00:51:40,722 Hey, my daddy took me to her place. 676 00:51:41,390 --> 00:51:43,099 Not what l expected. 677 00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:46,853 How'd them fellers find the bank, anyway? 678 00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:49,063 Gentlemen, if we can just stay on task here. 679 00:51:49,148 --> 00:51:51,691 Sheriff! Over here! 680 00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:56,738 -Would you look at that? -Like seeing the face of God. 681 00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:59,574 Amen, brother. 682 00:51:59,658 --> 00:52:02,535 l remember when it used to flow every Wednesday. 683 00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:04,620 Those were the halcyon days. 684 00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:06,956 Must be a reason she quit on us. 685 00:52:07,249 --> 00:52:10,793 Whatever the reason, something is controlling this here water. 686 00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:12,670 What do you say, Sheriff? 687 00:52:13,672 --> 00:52:16,674 Clearly, the robbers came from this direction. 688 00:52:16,759 --> 00:52:19,177 l say we track this pipe back to its hydraulic origin 689 00:52:19,261 --> 00:52:21,763 and apprehend the culprits behind this aquatic conundrum. 690 00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:24,182 -What'd he say? -l think he said follow the pipe. 691 00:52:24,266 --> 00:52:26,684 -He said follow the pipe. -He said follow the pipe. 692 00:52:31,231 --> 00:52:33,149 Sure is humid down here. 693 00:52:33,233 --> 00:52:36,277 Yeah, it's activating my piles. 694 00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:38,112 l had a goitre removed once. 695 00:52:38,197 --> 00:52:41,324 Looked like Tony Bennett stepping out of the shower. 696 00:52:41,408 --> 00:52:44,243 Shoot, l put that on a tortilla. 697 00:52:55,506 --> 00:52:59,842 Whatever you do, do not look down. 698 00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:05,473 -What is this place? -lt's an aquifer. 699 00:53:07,351 --> 00:53:08,851 What's an aquifer? 700 00:53:08,936 --> 00:53:10,937 Well, it's for aqua. 701 00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:13,815 Well, it's empty now. 702 00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:34,669 That's a big one. 703 00:53:37,297 --> 00:53:39,924 -lt's the end of the line. -Don't go no further. 704 00:53:40,008 --> 00:53:43,803 Well, now that there is a pipe. lt's got to be connected to something. 705 00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:46,514 You talk too much. Why don't you put a cork in it? 706 00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:48,975 Why don't you put a cork... Tell you where the sun don't shine. 707 00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:50,560 Your mama did. l'll cook her right up. 708 00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,186 You two just don't get it, do you? 709 00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:55,940 Someone or something is messing with our hydration 710 00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:57,984 and that pipe has got something to do with it. 711 00:53:58,068 --> 00:53:59,902 l thought we was following bank robbers! 712 00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:02,280 We're experiencing a paradigm shift. 713 00:54:02,364 --> 00:54:04,991 l'm gonna shift the features on your face if you don't shut up! 714 00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:06,367 Go ahead and try! 715 00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:11,038 Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling. You're affecting my cogitation. 716 00:54:13,417 --> 00:54:16,419 Whoa! l got it. Snuff out them torches. 717 00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:23,217 Sure enough. 718 00:54:23,802 --> 00:54:25,553 Smart thinking there, feller. 719 00:54:25,637 --> 00:54:28,347 -Start climbing. -Get your foot out of my face! 720 00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:29,974 Not bad, huh, Beans? 721 00:54:30,058 --> 00:54:32,476 You keep thinking like that, your hat's gonna catch on fire. 722 00:54:32,561 --> 00:54:35,021 Well, you know, you get on a roll, you just... 723 00:54:35,856 --> 00:54:37,190 Hot, hot! Burn. 724 00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:51,954 Poor things. All they wanted was a little water. 725 00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:55,499 Cactus dying of thirst. lt don't bode well. 726 00:54:55,584 --> 00:54:57,293 -Hey, look what l found! -What you got there? 727 00:54:57,377 --> 00:55:00,296 -l saw that first! -Hey, that's mine! 728 00:55:00,380 --> 00:55:01,964 Give me that! 729 00:55:02,049 --> 00:55:04,050 lt's empty anyway. 730 00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,593 l knew that. 731 00:55:05,677 --> 00:55:06,969 Where'd you find that? 732 00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:09,889 Sheriff! You're going to want to see this! 733 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,269 lt's Mr Merrimack from the bank. 734 00:55:15,354 --> 00:55:16,771 What's he doing here? 735 00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:18,397 -Everybody stand back. -All right, let me see. 736 00:55:18,482 --> 00:55:20,983 Looks like them varmints shot him in the back. 737 00:55:21,068 --> 00:55:25,238 No, this man wasn't shot. He was drowned! 738 00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:27,990 -Drowned? -ln the middle of the desert? 739 00:55:28,075 --> 00:55:29,825 What a way to go. 740 00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:35,248 Well, now, whose boot prints are those? 741 00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:42,546 That's interesting. The ground's still wet. 742 00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:44,632 l suppose we should bury him. 743 00:55:44,716 --> 00:55:47,301 l don't know. Birds got to eat, too. 744 00:55:47,386 --> 00:55:48,678 Circle of life! 745 00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:49,804 Sheriff. 746 00:55:49,888 --> 00:55:51,430 Will you say a few words? 747 00:55:52,808 --> 00:55:54,725 Yeah. Yeah. 748 00:55:57,187 --> 00:55:58,479 Dearly beloved. 749 00:55:58,563 --> 00:56:03,317 We are gathered here today to honour this man. 750 00:56:03,944 --> 00:56:05,152 Mr Merrimack, 751 00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:07,154 you have the right to remain silent. 752 00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,573 Speak now or forever hold your peace. 753 00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:10,700 Amen. 754 00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:12,034 -Amen. -Amen. 755 00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:15,079 Hey! What's that dad-gum lndian doing? 756 00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:21,711 l see you're consulting with the spirits. 757 00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:25,131 No, l'm moulting. Means l'm ready to mate. 758 00:56:26,633 --> 00:56:28,175 l'll keep that in mind. 759 00:56:28,844 --> 00:56:29,969 Cactus fruit. 760 00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:32,847 Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit. 761 00:56:32,931 --> 00:56:34,724 l believe your people use it as seasoning 762 00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:36,267 when preparing your native dishes. 763 00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:38,185 Also natural laxative. 764 00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:40,938 Pick up trail. 765 00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:44,483 Three men heading west. One blind, one with 766 00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:48,529 enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle. 767 00:56:48,613 --> 00:56:51,907 -What did he say? -They're riding sidesaddle. 768 00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,409 -We're whispering. -What'd he say? 769 00:56:53,493 --> 00:56:54,618 Someone's got a bad valve. 770 00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:57,663 All right, which one of you fellers needs a check-up? 771 00:56:58,623 --> 00:56:59,749 Awkward. 772 00:57:01,084 --> 00:57:04,378 What exactly are we going to do now? 773 00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:07,381 Now we ride! 774 00:57:12,220 --> 00:57:15,931 That means we're riding now! This moment. 775 00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:01,352 Marshmallows remind me of going camping with my daddy. 776 00:58:01,436 --> 00:58:03,604 l could eat them all night long. 777 00:58:05,398 --> 00:58:08,609 Of course he did make me cough them back up again for breakfast. 778 00:58:10,278 --> 00:58:13,447 This one time, l coughed up an entire Dalmatian. 779 00:58:13,532 --> 00:58:17,368 That ain't nothing. l coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies. 780 00:58:18,370 --> 00:58:20,329 They started looking at me weird. 781 00:58:20,413 --> 00:58:23,707 l remember them. They was quite friendly. 782 00:58:23,792 --> 00:58:27,336 l found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once. 783 00:58:30,423 --> 00:58:33,008 You might want to get that looked at. 784 00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:36,262 Pass the beans, Beans. 785 00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:38,055 -Sheriff? -No, thanks. 786 00:58:38,140 --> 00:58:42,560 Mr Rango? Can you tell us about the Spirit of the West? 787 00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:46,480 -Yeah, tell us about that. -ls it true what they say? 788 00:58:46,565 --> 00:58:50,234 Yes, the Spirit of the West! 789 00:58:50,318 --> 00:58:52,736 The eternally unattainable ideal. 790 00:58:53,155 --> 00:58:55,781 They say he rides in an alabaster carriage 791 00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,449 with golden guardians to protect him. 792 00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:01,495 But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest! 793 00:59:02,247 --> 00:59:03,664 And have made it 794 00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:06,000 to the other side. 795 00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:11,547 The other side of what? 796 00:59:12,007 --> 00:59:13,591 lt's a metaphor. 797 00:59:13,675 --> 00:59:14,717 My eye! 798 00:59:14,801 --> 00:59:16,343 That's gonna heal right up. 799 00:59:16,428 --> 00:59:20,431 Sheriff? What are you going to do about Rattlesnake Jake? 800 00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:22,016 What? Where? 801 00:59:23,768 --> 00:59:27,730 Sorry about that. Word is you come against him once or twice. 802 00:59:28,773 --> 00:59:30,107 Yeah. 803 00:59:30,192 --> 00:59:32,193 Jake. You mean my brother. 804 00:59:32,277 --> 00:59:34,153 -Your brother? -That's what l said! 805 00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:37,531 But he's a snake and you're a lizard. 806 00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:40,409 Well, Momma had an active social life. 807 00:59:41,828 --> 00:59:42,953 Did he ever bite you? 808 00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:46,457 Sure enough did. Look at that baby. Go ahead, you can touch it. 809 00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:50,461 That's interesting. That there's a belly button. 810 00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:52,129 Luckily, l'm immune to his venom. 811 00:59:52,214 --> 00:59:54,131 Put some in my coffee just to give it a little tang. 812 00:59:54,216 --> 00:59:56,175 ls it true he's only scared of them hawks? 813 00:59:56,259 --> 00:59:59,887 Them's what we call his natural predator. 814 01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,808 All this talk of that serpentine devil is putting my quills on edge! 815 01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:06,894 l ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir. 816 01:00:06,978 --> 01:00:10,147 Don't you all worry about a thing. Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water 817 01:00:10,232 --> 01:00:12,233 and return to a hero's welcome. 818 01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:15,903 Friends, before we bunk down 819 01:00:15,987 --> 01:00:18,447 l'd like us all to join hands for a moment, 820 01:00:18,531 --> 01:00:21,283 say a few words to the Spirit of the West. 821 01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:22,993 That's a good idea. 822 01:00:25,121 --> 01:00:28,123 Ain't always spoken rightly to you, Spirit of the West. 823 01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:34,129 But tonight l want to thank you for bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives. 824 01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:36,799 lt's a hard life we got. 825 01:00:36,883 --> 01:00:39,802 Sometimes l don't know how we're gonna make it. 826 01:00:40,262 --> 01:00:43,722 But somehow, Sheriff Rango makes me think we will. 827 01:00:44,724 --> 01:00:47,601 We needed a brave man and you sent us one. 828 01:00:48,728 --> 01:00:51,772 Nice to have someone to believe in again. 829 01:00:51,856 --> 01:00:55,484 Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen. 830 01:00:56,444 --> 01:00:58,320 -Amen. -Amen. 831 01:01:30,145 --> 01:01:31,979 Just checking. 832 01:01:34,566 --> 01:01:37,318 -lt's a little cold tonight. -Thank you. 833 01:01:39,821 --> 01:01:42,656 You ever feel like those things are looking at you? 834 01:01:42,824 --> 01:01:44,491 That's a Spanish dagger. 835 01:01:44,617 --> 01:01:47,411 But around here, we just call them the Walking Cactus. 836 01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:48,579 Walking? 837 01:01:48,663 --> 01:01:52,583 There's an old legend they actually walk across the desert to find water. 838 01:01:52,667 --> 01:01:56,420 When l was a little girl, l'd stay up late watching them, to see if they'd move. 839 01:01:56,504 --> 01:02:00,591 l thought if l could follow them, they'd lead me to someplace wonderful. 840 01:02:00,675 --> 01:02:04,345 Someplace with enough water for everyone. 841 01:02:05,263 --> 01:02:09,808 Night after night, l watched them. l never saw them move. 842 01:02:10,685 --> 01:02:11,810 But you're still watching. 843 01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:14,938 Who doesn't want to find someplace wonderful? 844 01:02:15,690 --> 01:02:18,692 We'll find the water, Beans. l promise you. 845 01:02:22,113 --> 01:02:24,490 That's such a lonely sound. 846 01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,284 You ever get lonely? 847 01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:28,786 Sometimes. 848 01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:33,374 l can't imagine it. You're such a charmer and everyone likes you so much. 849 01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:36,877 -l never made friends easy like that. -No? 850 01:02:37,670 --> 01:02:40,130 No, we're pretty isolated out there on the ranch, 851 01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:42,966 sort of like being sealed up in a little box. 852 01:02:43,051 --> 01:02:46,470 Don't really see a lot of folks. 853 01:02:46,554 --> 01:02:48,806 l wouldn't know what that's like. 854 01:02:49,557 --> 01:02:52,184 There someone special in your life, Rango? 855 01:02:52,727 --> 01:02:55,646 There used to be. But she couldn't keep her head. 856 01:02:55,730 --> 01:02:57,731 Besides, my life's too dangerous for that kind of thing. 857 01:02:57,857 --> 01:03:00,901 You know, it's an awful solitary existence out there on the prairie. 858 01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:03,237 Riding the ranges and the suchlike. 859 01:03:04,989 --> 01:03:09,159 Beans? 860 01:03:26,261 --> 01:03:30,347 l'm gonna skin you alive, boy! l'm gonna whup you like a red-headed stepchild! 861 01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:31,765 Choleric varmints, ain't they? 862 01:03:31,891 --> 01:03:34,852 Dysfunctional family. Need intervention. 863 01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:37,396 What's that coming? 864 01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:40,899 lt's the water. 865 01:03:42,944 --> 01:03:46,780 l have a plan, and each and every one of you has a part to play. 866 01:03:46,906 --> 01:03:48,115 What do l do? 867 01:03:48,241 --> 01:03:50,033 Spoons, you got the most important job of all. 868 01:03:50,285 --> 01:03:52,369 You stay up here on the ridge, and if anything goes wrong, 869 01:03:52,454 --> 01:03:55,289 you give the signal. 870 01:04:06,301 --> 01:04:09,636 Hey, Beans. What size dress you wearing? 871 01:04:09,762 --> 01:04:12,389 -He got it! -Hallelujah! 872 01:04:12,474 --> 01:04:14,141 -He found the water! -You did it, son. 873 01:04:14,267 --> 01:04:15,309 Well, actually... 874 01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:18,228 Why can't you be all brainy like your brother? 875 01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:20,731 Pappy, about that water. There's something l gots to tell you. 876 01:04:20,815 --> 01:04:22,649 Hush up, now. Somebody's coming. 877 01:04:25,111 --> 01:04:28,489 Good sirs, gracious good afternoon to thee and thee and thee. 878 01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:30,824 May l present Madame Lupone's 879 01:04:30,909 --> 01:04:33,327 Terpsichorean Troupe of Travelling Thespians! 880 01:04:35,163 --> 01:04:37,331 -What is that? -l think they's thespians. 881 01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:40,501 Thespians? That's illegal in seven states! 882 01:04:40,627 --> 01:04:44,421 The stage is set. The princess prepares to take her own life. 883 01:04:44,506 --> 01:04:46,131 l yearn for love. 884 01:04:47,091 --> 01:04:49,134 Meanwhile, the lone sentry stands watch at the castle gate. 885 01:04:51,179 --> 01:04:52,930 Stands watch at the castle gate... 886 01:04:54,098 --> 01:04:56,099 Hark! Who goes there? 887 01:04:56,184 --> 01:04:58,018 This plot is highly predictable. 888 01:04:58,102 --> 01:04:59,436 Quiet! This is my favourite part. 889 01:04:59,521 --> 01:05:02,189 Arriving to great fanfare 'twas her aged father, 890 01:05:05,777 --> 01:05:07,653 strucketh by Cupid. 891 01:05:08,947 --> 01:05:12,032 Prithee, unhand my fair daughter 892 01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:13,825 and reach for the... 893 01:05:16,454 --> 01:05:17,996 -Line? -"Reach for the sky!" 894 01:05:20,542 --> 01:05:22,125 What was that? 895 01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:24,211 Must be that immersive theatre. 896 01:05:24,337 --> 01:05:25,546 We got you surrounded! 897 01:05:25,672 --> 01:05:29,550 You and your entire family get your hands up where l can see them. 898 01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:32,052 My entire family? 899 01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:40,978 Grits and spit and coIIard greens 900 01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:45,482 Waffle chitIins, monkey brains 901 01:05:45,567 --> 01:05:49,403 Refried bones and booger bIood 902 01:05:49,487 --> 01:05:52,864 PickIed eggs and flaps of mud 903 01:05:56,202 --> 01:05:58,328 lt's a full house. 904 01:05:58,413 --> 01:06:01,707 Looks like we're gonna have ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff. 905 01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:06,587 l'll have you know, you're not looking at our entire contingent. 906 01:06:13,177 --> 01:06:15,596 What's that supposed to be? 907 01:06:15,722 --> 01:06:17,097 That's the signal. 908 01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:20,851 That's the signal! Something must have gone wrong! 909 01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:28,609 So something's supposed to happen? 910 01:06:28,735 --> 01:06:32,195 l am open to suggestions. 911 01:06:40,079 --> 01:06:41,622 Run! 912 01:06:47,795 --> 01:06:49,046 Get on the wagon! 913 01:06:55,094 --> 01:06:57,804 Should we have ourselves some sport, chill'ens? 914 01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:00,724 l likes it when they run. 915 01:07:00,808 --> 01:07:03,810 Maybelle, give the holler! 916 01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:11,735 Looks like we made it! 917 01:07:11,819 --> 01:07:13,320 That audience was quite responsive. 918 01:07:13,446 --> 01:07:16,281 Yeah, well, l think that chromosome pool is about dried up. 919 01:07:43,518 --> 01:07:44,935 We got bats! 920 01:07:45,853 --> 01:07:47,646 Here! You drive. 921 01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:58,031 Looks like there's gonna be soup tonight! 922 01:07:58,491 --> 01:08:00,617 Come on, let's get some! 923 01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:13,213 What in tarnation? Don't shoot the water! 924 01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:16,800 Jedidiah! lt's time for the Alabama squeeze box! 925 01:08:16,884 --> 01:08:18,343 Okay, Pa! 926 01:08:25,309 --> 01:08:27,227 l am sensing hostility. 927 01:08:27,311 --> 01:08:28,520 lncoming! 928 01:08:34,318 --> 01:08:35,569 Hello! 929 01:08:35,653 --> 01:08:36,862 Goodbye! 930 01:08:46,664 --> 01:08:49,040 Lasso that swine! 931 01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:11,271 l suggest we take evasive action! 932 01:09:11,355 --> 01:09:13,273 l suggest you shut up and shoot! 933 01:09:13,399 --> 01:09:15,942 -What happened to the Sheriff? -He had a previous engagement! 934 01:09:16,068 --> 01:09:18,737 Boseefus, give them some gumbo now! 935 01:09:25,411 --> 01:09:28,079 What was that? Go check it out! 936 01:09:29,373 --> 01:09:31,082 What is it? ls there a problem? 937 01:09:33,461 --> 01:09:34,920 You could call it that. 938 01:10:23,344 --> 01:10:24,469 Headache. 939 01:10:27,139 --> 01:10:29,266 ls that all you got? 940 01:10:47,159 --> 01:10:49,369 That wasn't altogether unpleasant! 941 01:10:50,997 --> 01:10:52,038 Eat lead! 942 01:11:02,717 --> 01:11:04,301 Here, hold these. 943 01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:16,855 Get your hands off me! 944 01:11:21,903 --> 01:11:23,361 Oh, l'm sorry. 945 01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:33,246 Jump! 946 01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:57,729 lt's impossible. 947 01:11:58,147 --> 01:12:01,066 lt can't be. lt's empty. 948 01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:02,859 There's no water! 949 01:12:02,944 --> 01:12:06,404 No water? Then what the hell we been fighting for? 950 01:12:06,489 --> 01:12:10,742 Sir, you have defiled and desecrated the very sustenance of our livelihood! 951 01:12:10,826 --> 01:12:13,453 l think that there fella in the purty dress is the Sheriff. 952 01:12:13,579 --> 01:12:16,122 That's the same fellow what give us a prospecting permit? 953 01:12:16,248 --> 01:12:19,084 -A what? -lrrelevant! Obfuscation. 954 01:12:19,168 --> 01:12:21,169 You and your kin are under arrest for bank robbery 955 01:12:21,295 --> 01:12:23,296 and the murder of our beloved financial advisor 956 01:12:23,422 --> 01:12:26,883 Johannes Merrimack the Third, AKA, Fluffy Joe. 957 01:12:26,968 --> 01:12:28,551 Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody. 958 01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:31,012 We done tunnelled into that vault, but there weren't nothing in it. 959 01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:33,056 Somebody done robbed that bank before we robbed it. 960 01:12:33,140 --> 01:12:34,891 Then where'd you get this here jug? 961 01:12:34,976 --> 01:12:36,977 That's what l been trying to tell you, Pappy. 962 01:12:37,103 --> 01:12:38,269 l found it in the desert. 963 01:12:38,354 --> 01:12:41,606 Then why in tarnation did you bring it here? 964 01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:45,652 Hold on! You're saying this here jug was empty when you found it? 965 01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:46,987 That's right. 966 01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:48,405 l don't believe a word of it. 967 01:12:48,489 --> 01:12:50,031 -Let's hang them, Sheriff! -String them up! 968 01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:51,616 Who'd dump water in the desert? 969 01:12:52,159 --> 01:12:53,785 Wouldn't be the first time. 970 01:12:54,286 --> 01:12:57,038 lt's a puzzle! lt's like a big old mammogram! 971 01:12:57,164 --> 01:12:58,999 What's going on, Sheriff? 972 01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,458 l don't know. 973 01:13:00,543 --> 01:13:04,587 But l'm going to strip away this mystery and expose its private parts. 974 01:13:04,672 --> 01:13:06,965 You and your kin are coming with me. 975 01:13:11,470 --> 01:13:12,679 They're coming! 976 01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:14,514 Here they come! 977 01:13:15,725 --> 01:13:18,184 Looks like they got them robbers. 978 01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,167 Where's the water? 979 01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:47,172 There weren't no water. 980 01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:03,021 Where is he going? 981 01:14:04,065 --> 01:14:06,566 He's going to see the Mayor. 982 01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:10,653 He's got to be pleased with that. 983 01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:12,572 That's a good one, boss! 984 01:14:22,374 --> 01:14:23,458 That's interesting. 985 01:14:23,584 --> 01:14:26,419 l do apologise for the shoes, Mr Rango, 986 01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:29,839 but there's a certain protocol to this game, you understand. 987 01:14:29,924 --> 01:14:32,258 l'm a bit of a stickler for protocol. 988 01:14:32,384 --> 01:14:35,303 Well, that's good, 'cause you got a few questions to answer 989 01:14:35,429 --> 01:14:37,722 and l've got my own protocol. 990 01:14:41,727 --> 01:14:44,604 But why would anyone dump water in the blooming desert? 991 01:14:44,730 --> 01:14:48,733 lt does seem a bit naïve, taking the word of admitted bank robbers. 992 01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:52,445 Besides, once they hang, yourjob is done. 993 01:14:52,571 --> 01:14:54,030 -Bravo! -Job well done. 994 01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:57,075 But what if somebody did rob the bank before they got there? 995 01:14:57,159 --> 01:14:59,327 And who would do that, Mr Rango? 996 01:14:59,453 --> 01:15:01,663 l was hoping you could tell me. 997 01:15:01,789 --> 01:15:04,749 That sounds marginally near to an accusation. 998 01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,835 Take it any way you like. 999 01:15:12,174 --> 01:15:15,802 Something you said keeps rattling around in my frontal lobe. 1000 01:15:15,928 --> 01:15:17,095 What's that? 1001 01:15:17,763 --> 01:15:21,474 "Control the water and you control everything." 1002 01:15:22,101 --> 01:15:24,144 Come now, Mr Rango. 1003 01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:27,147 You attribute divine power to me. 1004 01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:30,441 How on earth could l possibly control the water? 1005 01:15:32,945 --> 01:15:36,030 You've obviously mastered this game. 1006 01:15:36,157 --> 01:15:39,576 Well, l've been playing it for many years, sir. 1007 01:15:39,660 --> 01:15:42,829 l was here before the highway split this great valley. 1008 01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:45,582 l watched the march of progress, 1009 01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:48,168 and l learned a thing or two. 1010 01:15:48,669 --> 01:15:51,838 Perhaps it's time you started to take the long view, 1011 01:15:51,964 --> 01:15:55,800 begin to appreciate the broad sweep of history. 1012 01:15:56,468 --> 01:15:57,969 Look out there, son. 1013 01:15:58,888 --> 01:16:01,306 You can almost see time passing. 1014 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,603 What are you building out here? 1015 01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:10,023 The future, Mr Rango, the future. 1016 01:16:10,149 --> 01:16:13,818 One day soon, all this is going to fade into myth, 1017 01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:16,738 the frontier town, the lawman, the gunslinger. 1018 01:16:16,864 --> 01:16:19,240 There's just no place for them any more. 1019 01:16:19,366 --> 01:16:22,660 -We're civilised now. -That's right, civilised. 1020 01:16:23,495 --> 01:16:25,079 That's what the future holds. 1021 01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:28,541 You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind. 1022 01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:32,795 ls that what happened to Mr Merrimack? Did he get left behind? 1023 01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:37,550 Careful, Mr Rango. You seem to forget you're just one little lizard. 1024 01:16:37,885 --> 01:16:41,721 You seem to forget l'm the law around these parts. 1025 01:16:44,391 --> 01:16:47,477 Our new sheriff has been playing the hero for so long, 1026 01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,979 he's actually starting to believe it. 1027 01:16:50,064 --> 01:16:52,523 Call in Rattlesnake Jake. 1028 01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:55,276 But Jake's the Grim Reaper. 1029 01:16:55,402 --> 01:16:57,737 He never leaves without taking a blooming soul. 1030 01:16:57,863 --> 01:16:59,072 Do it! 1031 01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:17,799 Now be still. You gotta look presentable to meet your maker. 1032 01:17:23,597 --> 01:17:26,975 Death has arrived 1033 01:17:31,438 --> 01:17:35,817 How wiII the hero survive? 1034 01:17:39,613 --> 01:17:42,740 The Mayor has bought up all the land in the valley, 1035 01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:44,701 except for your ranch, Miss Beans. 1036 01:17:44,785 --> 01:17:48,621 That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless. 1037 01:17:48,747 --> 01:17:51,541 Unless he controls the water. 1038 01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,501 Like a monkey's bladder! 1039 01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:55,878 Then he could bring it back once he's bought up all the land. 1040 01:17:56,130 --> 01:17:58,089 But how does he control the water? 1041 01:17:59,425 --> 01:18:02,552 Well, you gotta spend some time and train them. 1042 01:18:02,636 --> 01:18:05,763 'Cause you know monkeys, when they do go, you rub their nose in it. 1043 01:18:05,973 --> 01:18:07,974 Sheriff, we got a problem. 1044 01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:18,109 Hold on, Beans. That won't be necessary. 1045 01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:24,866 -Hang him till his head turns blue! -Give us them robbers! 1046 01:18:24,992 --> 01:18:27,410 Hold on! Calm down, everyone! Let me talk! 1047 01:18:27,494 --> 01:18:29,787 -Nail them to the courthouse! -Now, calm down, everybody. 1048 01:18:29,872 --> 01:18:32,540 Get them out here so we can cut off their giblets! 1049 01:18:33,167 --> 01:18:34,751 You, too, Spoons? 1050 01:18:34,835 --> 01:18:38,212 They done taken that water. They taken everything we got! 1051 01:18:38,338 --> 01:18:41,299 No one's stringing anyone up. Not while l'm sheriff. 1052 01:18:41,383 --> 01:18:42,633 But this is all his fault! 1053 01:18:42,718 --> 01:18:45,094 You said you's gonna bring the water back. 1054 01:18:45,179 --> 01:18:47,722 lt's just, we got no hope without that water. 1055 01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,724 We got nothing left to believe in. 1056 01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:51,976 You see that sign up there? 1057 01:18:52,686 --> 01:18:54,896 As long as that sign says "Sheriff," 1058 01:18:55,022 --> 01:18:57,356 you can believe that there's law and order in this town. 1059 01:18:57,483 --> 01:19:01,527 But without law and order, ruminate on that. Oh, yeah. 1060 01:19:01,653 --> 01:19:04,822 Starts out slow, like a fungus. 1061 01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:07,575 Somebody says a cross word. Accusations start flying. 1062 01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:10,495 Neighbour turns on neighbour. Pretty soon, we're eating our children! 1063 01:19:10,579 --> 01:19:11,996 And then dogs and cats are getting together 1064 01:19:12,081 --> 01:19:14,749 to create all sorts of unnatural mutant aberrations! 1065 01:19:15,751 --> 01:19:19,378 So, you want something to believe in, Spoons? 1066 01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:21,047 Believe in me. 1067 01:19:22,591 --> 01:19:24,592 Believe in that there sign. 1068 01:19:25,552 --> 01:19:29,055 For as long as it hangs there, we got hope. 1069 01:19:54,456 --> 01:19:56,916 Hello, brother. 1070 01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:59,085 Thirsty? 1071 01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:14,308 Long time, brother. How you been keeping? 1072 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:16,477 Well, you know... 1073 01:20:18,939 --> 01:20:23,234 l hear you been telling about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. 1074 01:20:23,318 --> 01:20:25,987 With one bullet, wasn't it? 1075 01:20:26,113 --> 01:20:27,989 lsn't that right? 1076 01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:32,326 All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? 1077 01:20:32,494 --> 01:20:36,247 Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? 1078 01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:39,584 Seems these folks trust you. 1079 01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:42,753 They think you're gonna save their little town. 1080 01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:46,340 They think you're gonna save their little souls! 1081 01:20:50,345 --> 01:20:53,931 But we know better, don't we? 1082 01:20:59,479 --> 01:21:03,107 So why don't you show your friends here what you're made of? 1083 01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:06,027 Show them who you really are. 1084 01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:09,155 Why don't you just pull your gun and shoot me? 1085 01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:12,158 But, of course, you won't need all these. 1086 01:21:12,284 --> 01:21:14,202 Just one, right? 1087 01:21:16,496 --> 01:21:19,957 Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger. 1088 01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:25,379 You got killer in your eyes, son? 1089 01:21:27,674 --> 01:21:28,841 l don't see it. 1090 01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:35,348 You didn't do any of them things you said, did you? 1091 01:21:35,474 --> 01:21:39,477 You didn't kill them Jenkins brothers. You ain't even from the West! 1092 01:21:39,561 --> 01:21:40,728 Are you? 1093 01:21:41,521 --> 01:21:44,148 -Say it! -No. 1094 01:21:44,233 --> 01:21:48,361 Speak up. l don't think your friends here heard you. 1095 01:21:49,988 --> 01:21:51,030 No. 1096 01:21:51,156 --> 01:21:53,658 All you've done is lie to these good people. 1097 01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:57,995 You ain't nothing but a fake and a coward. lsn't that right? 1098 01:21:58,247 --> 01:21:59,413 Yes. 1099 01:21:59,539 --> 01:22:01,249 -Louder! -Yes. 1100 01:22:05,712 --> 01:22:08,881 Listen close, you pathetic fraud. 1101 01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:12,009 This is my town now. 1102 01:22:12,094 --> 01:22:16,555 lf l ever see you again, l will take your soul straight down to hell! 1103 01:22:33,448 --> 01:22:35,074 Who are you? 1104 01:24:31,733 --> 01:24:33,192 Who am I? 1105 01:24:35,362 --> 01:24:37,071 I'm nobody. 1106 01:26:31,311 --> 01:26:33,270 Golden guardians. 1107 01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:36,815 The alabaster carriage. 1108 01:26:41,821 --> 01:26:44,323 The Spirit of the West. 1109 01:26:48,787 --> 01:26:52,665 Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir? 1110 01:26:55,168 --> 01:27:00,172 There's a beaut. Sometimes you got to dig deep to find what you're looking for. 1111 01:27:01,841 --> 01:27:03,217 So you made it. 1112 01:27:04,177 --> 01:27:05,427 ls this heaven? 1113 01:27:05,512 --> 01:27:09,348 lf it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak. 1114 01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:10,808 Yeah. 1115 01:27:10,976 --> 01:27:14,144 No kidding. What are you doing out here? 1116 01:27:14,521 --> 01:27:16,522 Searching, same as you. 1117 01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:20,776 l don't even know what l'm looking for any more. 1118 01:27:20,860 --> 01:27:22,820 l don't even know who l am. 1119 01:27:23,363 --> 01:27:25,864 They used to call you the Man with No Name. 1120 01:27:27,200 --> 01:27:31,120 These days they got a name forjust about everything. 1121 01:27:31,204 --> 01:27:35,499 Doesn't matter what they call you. lt's the deeds make the man. 1122 01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:39,378 Yeah, but my deeds just made things worse. l'm a fraud. l'm a phoney! 1123 01:27:39,504 --> 01:27:43,382 My friends believed in me, but they need some kind of hero. 1124 01:27:43,508 --> 01:27:45,175 Then be a hero. 1125 01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:49,179 No. No, no, you don't understand. l'm not even supposed to be here. 1126 01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:53,517 That's right. You came a long way to find something that isn't out here. 1127 01:27:54,561 --> 01:27:57,271 Don't you see? lt's not about you. 1128 01:27:58,273 --> 01:27:59,857 lt's about them. 1129 01:28:02,777 --> 01:28:04,194 But l can't go back. 1130 01:28:04,279 --> 01:28:06,697 Don't know that you got a choice, son. 1131 01:28:10,535 --> 01:28:13,287 No man can walk out on his own story. 1132 01:28:25,759 --> 01:28:27,468 So you made it. 1133 01:28:28,887 --> 01:28:32,765 That's right, amigo. The other side of the road. 1134 01:28:35,226 --> 01:28:37,478 Did you just see that? 1135 01:28:37,896 --> 01:28:40,773 We each see what we need to see. 1136 01:28:41,775 --> 01:28:43,776 Beautiful, isn't it? 1137 01:28:55,789 --> 01:28:56,914 Yeah. 1138 01:28:57,999 --> 01:28:59,416 lt is. 1139 01:28:59,959 --> 01:29:03,796 Come, my friend. l want to show you something. 1140 01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:12,096 Many years ago, this entire valley was covered in agua. 1141 01:29:12,180 --> 01:29:16,141 Now only one question remains. 1142 01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:18,936 Where did it go? 1143 01:29:53,888 --> 01:29:55,973 They follow the water. 1144 01:29:56,057 --> 01:29:59,184 They follow the water! Come on! 1145 01:30:34,053 --> 01:30:38,682 That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless. 1146 01:30:39,392 --> 01:30:41,351 What are you building out here? 1147 01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:43,353 The future, Mr Rango. 1148 01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:48,025 You can either be part of it, or you can be Ieft behind. 1149 01:30:50,403 --> 01:30:53,280 I was here before the highway spIit this great vaIIey. 1150 01:30:56,367 --> 01:30:58,952 I watched the march of progress 1151 01:30:59,078 --> 01:31:01,330 and I Iearned a thing or two. 1152 01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,796 Control the water 1153 01:31:08,922 --> 01:31:11,298 and you control everything. 1154 01:31:18,139 --> 01:31:20,390 Come now, Mr Rango. 1155 01:31:20,475 --> 01:31:22,309 You attribute divine power to me. 1156 01:31:22,435 --> 01:31:24,978 How on earth couId I possibIy controI the water? 1157 01:32:01,891 --> 01:32:03,892 What now, amigo? 1158 01:32:11,526 --> 01:32:14,570 No man can walk out on his own story. 1159 01:32:16,155 --> 01:32:17,573 l'm going back. 1160 01:32:19,033 --> 01:32:20,409 But why? 1161 01:32:21,536 --> 01:32:23,537 Because that's who l am. 1162 01:32:35,675 --> 01:32:40,345 You got a lot of nerve showing up here, lawman. What is it you want? 1163 01:32:41,389 --> 01:32:45,058 Your pappy and them boys are about to hang for something they didn't do. 1164 01:32:46,519 --> 01:32:48,186 But l've got a plan. 1165 01:33:16,257 --> 01:33:19,092 l appreciate how difficult this is for you, Beans. 1166 01:33:19,218 --> 01:33:22,179 But you're making a practical decision. 1167 01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:25,015 Decisions, decisions. 1168 01:33:25,099 --> 01:33:28,268 There's no need for any more suffering. 1169 01:33:34,776 --> 01:33:38,278 Your family's ranch is nothing but a wasteland now. 1170 01:33:38,821 --> 01:33:43,575 Sign the deed and relieve yourself of your father's burden. 1171 01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:48,455 My daddy was not a burden! 1172 01:33:48,581 --> 01:33:50,958 Keep your blood money and l'll keep my land! 1173 01:33:57,090 --> 01:34:00,258 Do what he says or, by all the fires of the black pit, 1174 01:34:00,343 --> 01:34:03,762 l'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes out of your skull! 1175 01:34:04,514 --> 01:34:06,723 Now, hold on, Jake. There's no need to... 1176 01:34:06,808 --> 01:34:09,142 Let me do my job! You brought me in. 1177 01:34:09,268 --> 01:34:11,812 Now we're gonna play this thing out to the end! 1178 01:34:12,605 --> 01:34:15,107 Sign the damn paper, woman! 1179 01:34:15,316 --> 01:34:17,109 Go to hell! 1180 01:34:17,276 --> 01:34:19,611 Where do you think l come from? 1181 01:34:20,196 --> 01:34:22,531 Look into my eyes. 1182 01:34:22,615 --> 01:34:24,992 l want to see you die. 1183 01:34:30,123 --> 01:34:31,331 Jake! 1184 01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:36,670 l'm calling you out! 1185 01:34:38,965 --> 01:34:40,465 Jake! 1186 01:34:40,800 --> 01:34:45,178 This day just got a little more interesting. 1187 01:35:12,415 --> 01:35:13,623 Put her down. 1188 01:35:13,708 --> 01:35:17,335 Or what, little man? You going to kill me? 1189 01:35:17,420 --> 01:35:19,337 That's just about the size of it. 1190 01:35:22,008 --> 01:35:24,634 -Get your filthy paws off me! -Shut your gob! 1191 01:35:24,719 --> 01:35:27,888 All right, Sheriff, make your move. 1192 01:37:00,148 --> 01:37:01,648 Nown amigos! 1193 01:37:06,195 --> 01:37:08,864 -Heave! Heave! -Heave! Heave! 1194 01:37:26,799 --> 01:37:29,050 That was a bad idea. 1195 01:37:33,472 --> 01:37:34,514 Thirsty, brother? 1196 01:37:38,227 --> 01:37:40,353 Here it comes! 1197 01:37:42,148 --> 01:37:43,190 No. No! 1198 01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:48,820 lt's a miracle! 1199 01:37:48,988 --> 01:37:50,363 Look out! 1200 01:37:57,496 --> 01:37:59,164 -Lookee there! -What is that? 1201 01:38:01,083 --> 01:38:02,500 lt's our salvation, Pa! 1202 01:38:02,585 --> 01:38:05,712 lt's a jailbreak, boys! We're busting out! 1203 01:38:15,932 --> 01:38:20,018 l'm gonna blow so many holes in you, your guts'll be leaking lead! 1204 01:38:20,102 --> 01:38:22,854 Well, then it's a good thing l brought some backup. 1205 01:38:34,116 --> 01:38:35,200 What? 1206 01:38:38,955 --> 01:38:40,830 Ain't no hawk. 1207 01:38:40,915 --> 01:38:43,375 Ain't nothing but bats! 1208 01:38:45,544 --> 01:38:49,798 Stick to the plan, boys! Let's bleed that devil dry! 1209 01:39:01,227 --> 01:39:03,395 lt only takes one bullet. 1210 01:39:03,479 --> 01:39:05,605 You ain't got the nerve. 1211 01:39:06,774 --> 01:39:08,233 Try me. 1212 01:39:12,571 --> 01:39:14,239 Oh, Mr Rango. 1213 01:39:14,907 --> 01:39:16,574 Aren't you forgetting something? 1214 01:39:21,831 --> 01:39:23,790 Hand me your gun, Sheriff. 1215 01:39:26,669 --> 01:39:28,461 Now, Mr Rango. 1216 01:39:40,599 --> 01:39:42,934 Beans! Hold on. Don't worry, l got a plan. 1217 01:39:43,853 --> 01:39:45,979 Help! 1218 01:39:46,105 --> 01:39:48,440 Open the door! 1219 01:39:49,025 --> 01:39:50,525 Okay, plan B. 1220 01:39:51,694 --> 01:39:52,819 Beans, you're mumbling. 1221 01:39:53,362 --> 01:39:57,532 All my problems taken care of except for one. 1222 01:39:58,200 --> 01:39:59,326 lt's a new West, Jake. 1223 01:39:59,452 --> 01:40:03,788 There's no room for gunslingers any more. We're businessmen now. 1224 01:40:03,873 --> 01:40:05,623 Yeah, we got new hats. 1225 01:40:05,708 --> 01:40:09,336 Where l come from, we call this improvisation. 1226 01:40:10,713 --> 01:40:12,464 You came back. 1227 01:40:20,681 --> 01:40:21,890 What was that? 1228 01:40:21,974 --> 01:40:24,559 No need to panic, but l think you just swallowed plan B. 1229 01:40:24,685 --> 01:40:25,810 What? 1230 01:40:27,396 --> 01:40:28,938 Okay, panic time. 1231 01:40:29,023 --> 01:40:31,983 You and the Sheriff are more alike than you think. 1232 01:40:32,068 --> 01:40:33,902 You're nothing but legends. 1233 01:40:33,986 --> 01:40:37,739 Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed. 1234 01:40:40,993 --> 01:40:43,578 One last bullet to kill one last outlaw. 1235 01:40:45,915 --> 01:40:47,665 How fitting. 1236 01:41:21,909 --> 01:41:24,077 Sheriff, l'm sure if we work together, 1237 01:41:24,203 --> 01:41:28,331 we can reach a mutually beneficial solution to our current situation. 1238 01:41:28,416 --> 01:41:30,708 You better take it up with him. 1239 01:41:41,929 --> 01:41:43,721 One bullet. 1240 01:41:45,099 --> 01:41:47,434 l tip my hat to you, 1241 01:41:47,560 --> 01:41:50,437 one legend to another. 1242 01:41:52,273 --> 01:41:54,482 What was that you said? 1243 01:41:54,567 --> 01:41:59,279 "Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed." 1244 01:41:59,447 --> 01:42:01,573 No, Jake! No! 1245 01:42:13,919 --> 01:42:15,295 Rango! 1246 01:42:16,755 --> 01:42:20,550 You brought the water back, just like you promised. 1247 01:42:20,634 --> 01:42:22,302 You really are a hero. 1248 01:42:23,596 --> 01:42:26,764 Well, the thing about heroes is, whenever you... 1249 01:42:26,849 --> 01:42:28,641 Don't spoil it. 1250 01:42:28,767 --> 01:42:29,976 Right. 1251 01:42:30,478 --> 01:42:33,771 Well, l don't know about you all, but l could sure go for a dip. 1252 01:42:37,276 --> 01:42:40,195 And so the lizard completes his journey 1253 01:42:40,279 --> 01:42:44,324 from humble beginnings to the legend we sing of today. 1254 01:42:44,450 --> 01:42:49,120 And although he is certain to die, perhaps from a household accident, 1255 01:42:49,205 --> 01:42:52,248 which account for 65% of all unnatural deaths, 1256 01:42:52,333 --> 01:42:55,793 the people of the village will honour his memory 1257 01:42:55,961 --> 01:42:59,130 even as they abandon their dignity. 1258 01:43:06,680 --> 01:43:09,057 -l'm going in. -How about a cold one, there? 1259 01:43:09,141 --> 01:43:11,184 Water ain't money. Money is money. 1260 01:43:11,310 --> 01:43:13,895 -Well, l ain't got no... -We're talking hard cash. 1261 01:43:14,521 --> 01:43:15,772 We have a problem. 1262 01:43:15,856 --> 01:43:18,524 Who let Snuggles in the pool again? 1263 01:43:18,651 --> 01:43:21,069 l really think you complete me. 1264 01:43:21,153 --> 01:43:23,363 Prithee, unhand my fair maiden. 1265 01:43:23,489 --> 01:43:26,574 -Cut. Cut. Everybody, take five. -How can you keep missing your mark? 1266 01:43:26,659 --> 01:43:27,700 What's my motivation? 1267 01:43:29,536 --> 01:43:31,037 Oh, you kids. 1268 01:43:31,163 --> 01:43:32,997 What did you do that for? 1269 01:43:33,082 --> 01:43:35,541 l was just checking. l hear if you get too sunburnt, 1270 01:43:35,668 --> 01:43:37,418 you can peel a man's face right off. 1271 01:43:37,503 --> 01:43:39,087 -What is it? -That there's some human spleen. 1272 01:43:39,171 --> 01:43:40,255 Don't touch it. 1273 01:43:40,339 --> 01:43:41,923 That's the second time that's happened to me. 1274 01:43:42,007 --> 01:43:43,591 This water thing's great. 1275 01:43:43,676 --> 01:43:45,176 l'm urinating right now. 1276 01:43:45,261 --> 01:43:48,388 Adult swim, next five minutes. 1277 01:43:48,514 --> 01:43:50,848 Stay between the buoys. 1278 01:43:50,933 --> 01:43:52,267 l packed your lunch. Danish is in there 1279 01:43:52,351 --> 01:43:54,060 and l picked the raisins out just the way you like it. 1280 01:43:54,186 --> 01:43:56,187 Don't forget, your nasal spray is in your saddle-bag... 1281 01:43:56,272 --> 01:43:57,897 -Beans! -...and your moisturising lotion... 1282 01:43:58,023 --> 01:44:00,233 -Now, Beans! We've talked about this. -Lotion? 1283 01:44:00,359 --> 01:44:03,069 That's for my gun. That's gun lotion. 1284 01:44:03,237 --> 01:44:04,779 Sheriff, where are you headed? 1285 01:44:04,863 --> 01:44:07,782 There's trouble down a dry creek. Bad Bill's been acting up again. 1286 01:44:07,866 --> 01:44:09,742 Now, honey, you come back with all your digits. 1287 01:44:09,868 --> 01:44:11,202 And don't go trying to be a hero. 1288 01:44:11,287 --> 01:44:12,745 Beans, you are missing the point. 1289 01:44:12,871 --> 01:44:15,206 l got an image to protect now. 1290 01:44:16,292 --> 01:44:17,875 Where's my Tic Tacs? 1291 01:44:19,211 --> 01:44:21,129 -l found them. -What's going on? 1292 01:44:21,213 --> 01:44:24,132 Well, in order to satisfy the needs of the collective, 1293 01:44:24,216 --> 01:44:26,009 the hero must abandon the self 1294 01:44:26,093 --> 01:44:30,054 and solidify his image as an icon that will forever be remembered. 1295 01:44:30,889 --> 01:44:33,266 So, this is the sunset shot. 1296 01:44:41,734 --> 01:44:43,776 Give them a good one, amigo. 1297 01:44:53,245 --> 01:44:54,787 Ready, Excelsior? 1298 01:44:55,080 --> 01:44:57,040 My fellow comrades. 1299 01:44:57,124 --> 01:44:59,792 There will be times when you doubt yourself. 1300 01:44:59,877 --> 01:45:03,087 When you feel pummelled by the cataclysms of life, 1301 01:45:03,505 --> 01:45:07,050 remember this moment. Remember me. 1302 01:45:07,593 --> 01:45:10,386 Know that l will be there watching you, 1303 01:45:10,596 --> 01:45:13,431 sometimes at inappropriate moments. 1304 01:45:13,724 --> 01:45:16,059 That's part of the deal. 1305 01:45:16,143 --> 01:45:19,604 And remember, within all of us resides 1306 01:45:19,938 --> 01:45:22,690 the true Spirit of the... 1307 01:45:25,611 --> 01:45:27,904 Let's take it from the top.